Memory Loss & Chronic Severe Pain Getting Worse

 

Memory Loss

One of the first signs that made me think I had Lyme disease was memory loss. I have both long-term and short-term memory loss for about 5+ years now. I take mangosteen, memory tonic, supplements and much more to help me with this issue but nothing seems to help.

My short-term memory seems to be getting worse. I always take notes in my phone for simple tasks or things people do and take for granted to remind myself what to do and when. I will email myself to re-remind me and still forget. I have been wanted to ask my mom for razor blades fr my shaving razor and everyday I forgot to ask her for bout a week even with notes and reminders.

My friend and I send songs to each other and I keep sending the same songs and then I feel bad I always repeat myself. But it feels new to me like I have never talked about it or heard the song before. I just hope this doesn’t last for life and I get Alzheimer’s or dementia early on in life. I hope this may help someone with lyme who is wondering if memory loss is related and may be scared. I cannot remember most of my life and I will forget what I did the day before or even had for dinner. But recently it just seems to me I will forget I forgot was I was forgetting.

 

 

 

Chronic Severe Pain

I have been dealing with pain my whole life. I always thought everyone felt as crappy as I did and it was part of life and growing. When I was 20 years old I was told I had arthritis and chronic pain. The pain back then was mostly in my knees and hips. As lyme caused Fibromyalgia and other medical issues the pain was in my shoulder blades, neck, back, ankles…. etc. As I got sicker and bedridden 5 years ago the pain was from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. It is a combination of muscle, bone, joint and nerve pain where some lymies will only have one or the other so every case of lyme is different and difficult to detect if you have it.

I have been on pain killers for about 20 years. I have tried every pill, liquid, patches, injections, infusions so right now I am out of options for pain meds. I still am waiting to get Ketamine and be knocked completely out that’s my last hope but I hear it only helps for the first 2-3 infusions. I am currently taking 150mg of Morphine (MS-Contin) per day, 40mg of Norco, medical marijuana, anti-inflammatory, senega root, and much more. They all help to take the edge off the pain but some nights they don’t touch the pain so I sit and try not to cry too much. You can’t even concentrate, hold a conversation, watch TV… or anything with severe pain.

Lately my pain seems to be getting worse and the last couple nights I was trying not to cry in front of my parents while watching tv with them. My dad will get upset if he talks to me and I don’t seem into his story but it’s hard to listen, comprehend or reply when you are overwhelmed in pain. I tried upping my senega root dose and one extra norco but it doesn’t seem to be helping. With my GP and digestive issues, IBS, I hate to switch pain killers since the cause back-up and constipation. I had some very horrible experiences with being backed-up too long and almost passing out on the toilet. Hoping I can try ketamine one day but one place wants way too much and the others won’t do ketamine for outsiders. My LLMD office should have it soon.

 

**Although everything may be dark and you see no light at the end of the tunnel, just keep your sails full and keep on going. We always have hope. Try to inspire someone today and make someone smile then you may smile seeing them happy. Have a much better day chronic illness family.

 

 

 

 

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My Memory Loss & Lyme

Memory Loss & Lyme

There was a day recently where I had my iPad open on some Lyme article. I started to read the article when I thought, “wow this person has the same medical problems as I do”. I scrolled up to the top of the page to see which web site I was on ….. it turned out to be my own blog and a post I had written last year. The post looked foreign like it was from someone else and I don’t remeber using some of the words or discussing what I discussed. I sat there and said to myself “is my memory that bad”.

I couldn’t even tell you what I have posted on my blog in the past few years I have been blogging. That is one of the reasons I started the blog (besides helping others and sharing my story of lyme) was to keep my journey written down. Now I can look back and see what I was going through the year before or what symptoms have improved or maybe they are worse. It is hard to keep up with this blog but it is worth it if I can reach out to others and they can relate.

I feel like the movie ’50 First Dates’ where Drew Berrymore wakes up each day and had no memories from the previous day. Most days I cannot tell you what I had for dinner the night before, what I watched on TV…etc. I never know what day or date it is. About 4 years ago my memory started to fail me. I have both long-term and short-term memory loss. Just need to get this Lyme under control and get my memory back.

My friend and I do an annual pre-draft for the NFL where we pick the first two rounds of college players turning pro. We predict who we be stars and who will flop. It keeps me busy and its fun. Well this year my friend messaged me ready for the draft and I could not even remember players names or colleges so I gave up. It was really hard for me and confusing. This is the first time I had to pass on the draft.

I know there are a lot of you Lymesters (my friend Victoria’s word) who know what I am talking about. Someone will bring up a memory from years ago and you smile to be polite but in your head you’re thinking “I have no idea what they are talking about, I don’t remember that”.

I have been taking herbals for my brain and memory but nothing seems to help. I just have to find the right combo of treatment to get my memories back. We have to hold on to hope and always keep going no matter how hard the situation is. I hope you all have a much better pain-free weekend. Time to get off the computer and lay down.

 

 

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My Lyme & Memory loss

Lyme & Memory loss

Thanks to Lyme disease I’ve lost both short-term and long-term memory. I couldn’t tell you which is worse. My fear is that I will have Alzheimer’s at an early age. Will the memory loss get worse or will I gain memory back? I stay hopeful it will get better over time.

I am taking tinctures and supplements for memory and detoxing the brain but nothing seems to help. I hate feeling like I have the memory of a 90 year old man. Everything I used to know and love are fading away in memories.

I love NFL football and I can’t even remember names of players most days. My high school friends have to tell me things we used to do in high school so I will remember them. When I hear them it’s brand new to me and I’m either thinking “I was really a cool guy back then” or “stupid” in most cases.

It’s so surreal to hear your own past from others and have no idea that that stuff actually happened and I was there. I just see a blank space when I try to think of most of my past. I have lost basically memory from a child up to present day.

My short term memory makes life so different. If I want to tell somebody something I have to tell them right away before I get interrupted or I will forget what I was going to say. I can make many reminders of things and still forget. I will be in the middle of a story and forget what I was saying or what the topic was.

I tell my friend or parents to make sure I don’t forget things. One example of memory loss that recently happened.. I took all my pills for the day then 30 min later I said “did I take my pills” . (My pill minder is one day ahead but with memory I forget that sometimes). So I never knew if I did take them that day. I will forget my wallet sometimes when I got to the pharmacy. I forget to respond to people who text me and I love to text.

I know many lymies suffer from cognitive issues and memory loss. I hope this is only temporary and not chronic. Each doctor says they will give me something to help get my brain functioning again but in 3 years that has yet to happen. Just have to stay positive and keep up the fight.

 

I hope all my followers and fellow spoonies are all doing better and find some happiness. Don’t ever give up the fight. Things will get better for us.

 

 

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My Memory Loss And Current Cognitive Issues

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My Memory Loss And Current Cognitive Issues

“You know the one thing….you know the guy that does that thing…..you know”. This is a common sentence from my mouth lately. I have had pretty bad long-term  and short-term memory loss the past few years but it seems to be getting worse. I thought I was already pretty bad but now I seem to have the brain of a senior citizen or Alzheimer’s patient which is scary this young.

My dyslexia is getting worse but know my dyslexic words don’t even makes sense. I used to write “candy” (for example) then two years ago the dyslexia started and I would write “cnady” and now it is more like “xadyn”. I do a lot of editing and my iPad, iPhone and spell check work overtime correcting me.   I was once very good at English and writing and now I fight for words to express what I want to say.

My memory issues are getting to the pint where when I think of something I see a blank slate. My speech is slowed now because I can think of what word comes next as fast as I used to. Things that I am sure I know of I cannot remember. I was looking at old pictures and saying “I did that, when?”.

I still have the brain pressure but not as bad as last year. I have the headaches still but less migraines. My reaction times are slow as usual. Not much has changed since I first wrote about cognitive issues (if I even did lol).

My hope is that the cognitive issues will not get worse as I age but maybe better with treatment? So far it doesn’t look like it will get better but I will remain positive. I hope you are having success with your healing and have better days.

Example

As for my memory I had a conversation last week with my dad and here is pretty much what it sounded like:

Me: “The 49ers game is not on the High-Def channel and it starts at 6pm not 5pm”

My Dad: “I know we went over this yesterday don’t you remember?”

Me: “Ummm no this is news to me”

My Dad: “you’re getting Alzheimer’s”  (lol)

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