Archive | March, 2016

Easy Chicken & Beef Gravy With More Flavor 

21 Mar


Chicken/Beef Gravy 

Simple recipe called for 

2 tbs butter 

2 tbs flour 

1 cup chicken broth 

I like to tweak things and try different things to my taste. So I added a few things and it gave the quick gravy a kick of flavor. 

2 tbs Butter 

2 tbs Flour 

1/2 cup chicken stock 

1/2 beef stock 

2 tbs of sour cream (or heavy cream) 

1/4 small yellow onion minced 

1 small clove of garlic minced 



In a heated sauce pan add the minced onion and garlic and use a wooden spoon to stir around for a few minutes. Add the butter to the pan and scrape the flavor off the bottom of the pan and mix in with the butter. Cook a few minutes until butter is bubbling (don’t let it brown), now add the flour. Cook a few more minutes until the rue starts to turn a light brown color. Add some salt and pepper. Now add the chicken and beef broth and sour cream and let the mixture start to bubble. Turn down the heat and let the gravy simmer until it thickens and turns a nice light brown color. 

With my illnesses and the pain I’m in I wish I could be more precise but it did turn pretty good and more flavor than the simple recipe I always use. I used the gravy over homemade garlic mashed potatoes. Good luck 

I Collapsed & Hit My Head & C-Spine 

17 Mar


(Not me in picture, stock photo) 

Over a week ago I was doing my routine when I am able to leave my house or have energy and went to mail a letter down the street and grab a steak sandwich at the deli on the first floor of my apartment. My heart has been acting up and my POTS. I walked maybe a half block to the mailbox. I arrived at the deli/store and ordered my usual sandwich the lady makes for me when I can’t cook my own food. All of the sudden I felt cold sweat, tingling in my arms so I sat on the ground. My arms got really numb, sweat turned hot, legs were tingling, & started to get tunnel vision. People walking by said “you don’t look good are you okay” but I couldn’t really answer them or make a sentence. 

I laid down on the dirty floor for a minute because with my POTS sitting doesn’t help I need to be in the fetal position. The lady said I looked “dead” so I looked into my phone camera and I was pale white with no color at all and black under my eyes I did look like a corpse. After 15 minutes my sandwich was ready and I felt just a bit better. I stood up to pay for my food and handed the lady a $20 (I hope) next thing I remember I heard a loud “THUMP”, and heard a lady screaming “omg I call 911 you not okay” and I woke up a minute later with candy laying all over me and my head against the wall and body flat on the floor. Clerk said I hit my head and neck on the fall when I passed out. 

There was a time where I used to set off my PulseOx alarm daily and would pass out every time I stood up when I lived with my parents so I’m used to this. But normally I would fall on carpet or catch myself before I collapsed fully. This time I hit full on into metal, glass and tile flooring. My neck was killing me after the fall and is still sore. I have many ruptured discs, bulging discs in my neck. My neuro surgeon warned me never ever go on roller coaster, horseback , jet skis…..anything where I can jar my neck because I’m close to being paralysed or a quadrapelgic if I hit my neck just right. I have spinal stenosis, DDD, pinched nerves, disc issues, cysts, my spine is messed up from top to bottom and my spinal cord is being squeezed. So I was lucky I didn’t hurt myself too bad. 

I refused to ambulance because the ER wouldn’t have taken care of me and just sent me home like always. They always say my temp & vitals are the worst they ever seen but then send me home after one bad of saline even though I tell them I don’t feel any better and need to stay. After the hit I might have got another concussion because I slept for three days. My CFS was worse so I’m sleeping 16 hour days and not eating much. I have nobody to take care of me but myself right now and I’m not getting IVIG anymore. Everything is going wrong like my usual luck. I’m waiting for better days or for life to be nice to me. 

As far as my Lyme I’m taking antibiotics and starting back on Mepron for Babesia. My Lyme has been flaring and with my auto-immune and other issues I do feel like I’m dying again. I’m relaxing and resting on the couch all I can and watching tv. I don’t leave the house unless it’s for laundry or quick groceries. I hope my girl stops with the cold feet and will help me out soon. 
Hope you all are hanging in there! Let’s try to keep hope alive 

Current Life Update 

17 Mar

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Here is a quick update on me and why I’ve been so quiet. 

So for those that follow me you know that I’ve recently moved from the west coast to the east coast to live with my girlfriend I’ve been on and off with for four years. She had renal failure a while back and asked me to move here to be with here so we could spend our days together. She picked out our apartment and was so excited to live together and diet together. Everything was finally going my way for the first time in my life. I don’t ask for much, just love. I don’t mind living disabled for life as long as I get married and have a chance to have a family. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be happy. 

On the 5 day car ride here my girlfriend posted she was “single” on her social media. The closer I got she ran away, she got cold feet. I went to see here the second day I arrived and it freaked her out I went to her work to bring her a bagel she asked me to get her. It made no sense but she told me not to surprise her or come to her work and respect her boundaries. She told me she needed time. A month later she invites me to lunch. We had a good lunch and she said all the things I wanted to hear but again said she “needs time to think”. She said “we will move in together, we will be a couple and do things together, I will stay the night soon…”. Then the next day she asked me to open up and tell her things and if I did then she would open up. She asked how I felt about her, I told her she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met and I would have never moved this far if I didn’t truly love her…..just nice normal things. She stopped talking to me. For weeks no reply to texts. 

I collapsed at the store below my apartment (I will post about that next) and I told her and she didn’t reply. I feel alone and just want some answers of why she is treating me this way after I left everything and everyone I love behind, renting an apartment I don’t need, leasing a car I don’t need or drive, I’m broke and used up all my life savings for her. So I asked her to come over one night to talk and she said “I can’t” yet she’s had plenty of time to hang out with friends. So I got fed up and went to her work, she first had a co-worker lie and say she wasn’t there then I saw her and she told me she was too busy to talk. So I sat at her work for three hours hoping she would come over on her break or give in and say hi. Nope, she clocked out and snuck out the back door and left me sitting there like a fool. Then she blocked me on text so I have no way to contact her. She said I crossed into her personal space and crossed the boundaries going to her work so she’s mad at me. 

She doesn’t get all that I went through just for her. The packing, the passing out, left all my doctors and can no longer find a doctor to get my meds so far, paying rent and a car lease when I was fine living with my parents and not driving…. I didn’t have to do all of this but I did it to show her someone believes in her and loves her. She’s had a rough life and was hurt by a lot of people she trusted, beat childhood cancer, she’s very sick but works hard everyday and wears her body down…… I thought she wanted someone who sees what a good person she can be. But when she’s pushing me away she really knows how to hurt and make me feel alone. She makes me feel like I’m a bad guy for wanting to take care of her, love her, want to see her..etc. most girls wish they had a nice guy and she has one but doesn’t want to talk. 

I don’t want to give up on her but she doesn’t make it very easy. I’m sicker, laying in bed or on the couch sleeping 16 hours a day and have nobody here to help me. If she would just talk and tell me what she wants. If I try to leave she won’t let me but if I want to talk she is quiet and needs time. I hope she will talk soon and realize that love is not as scary as she thinks it is. I know this is a big step in her life but it was a big step in mine too. You can’t run away or leave someone at the alter and think that is okay. Communication is always the way to go. 
Sorry I had to vent so you know that I’m in a dark place right now.