The 5 Stages

3 Apr

5 stages


The 5 Stages

These are the 5 stages of grief after losing someone but I think they also fit in with dealing with a chronic illness. We all have different illnesses or situations and our lives have changed drastically from these illnesses. Everyone has a different story to tell and not all of these stages of grief may be in any specific order you are going through or have gone through.

When we get the news about the illness we have so many overwhelming thoughts and emotions running through us. Some people cry on the spot, others bottle it up and it may come out later, and others may accept it and wonder how they can start to treat it. We all deal with the news differently but we all seem to go through one or more of these 5 stages at some point. What stage are you at?

I am very exhausted so I will keep this short and I hope to the point. Forgive me if I do not. My blog is a distraction from the pain so sometimes I get sidetracked. I hope I can explain this properly so if I am wrong please feel free to correct me.


This is the stage where you found out you have Lyme disease (or any other medical issue) and you are saying “no I do not, the test is wrong” or something like “this is not real and cannot happen to me”. You haven’t really had time to process the information and accept that you are ill so you may not even shed a tear at this point. In your mind you are thinking “this is a bad dream and it will all go away”. You refuse to think you are sick.


At this stage you are beginning to think “why me, what did I do… I hate you life”. You may get moody and lash out at others for no reason. You sit alone and may cry and feel so pissed off that this is happening to you. You may yell, break things, and even feel self-destructive. People will notice you are not yourself and you may or may not tell them what you are going through.


This stage is where you start to beg, wish, pray that your Lyme disease will go away. You may think things such as “please, I will be nice to everyone from now on if this will just go away and I will be healthy”. You will do anything if you can just go back and be healthy again.


This stage is where many of us are and will stay because being chronically ill and having no life is not fun. We lose friends, family, our lives are lost, and many are bedridden. Who wouldn’t be depressed? This is where you the reality that you have Lyme disease and you will be on a long tough road to recovery has really hit you hard. You cry, lay in your room alone, stop talking to others, and even some become suicidal. We feel like nobody understands us or our struggle, we feel no reason to smile or laugh anymore. We feel empty and may have no emotions. This stage will most likely last the longest or never go away.


This is the stage where I am at and that is being at peace with your illnesses and crappy life. You no longer think “why me”, you may still be depressed and have acceptance. You are “okay” with being ill but not an okay as if you are happy with it but more of a “I better learn to deal with this disease so I can spread awareness, help others, and help myself”. For me it’s just about going through the daily routine such as taking my pills and never thinking how bad it sucks but you just do it because it is now part of your life.



– Find a reason to smile today as always, even the littlest things can bring happiness.




4 Responses to “The 5 Stages”

  1. Lynnelle Hoover April 3, 2013 at 2:58 am #

    I’m totally with you Bryan! People dont understand how i can come to accept such a thing, that i must be letting it become my identity or something. But reality? You can’t ignore or deny or fight against the fact that you have an ugly disease forever.

    Ive recently been struggling w/ more depression than ever!! Not sure what is up with that. Just know you’re not alone!!

    And i am hopeful for you that your new LLND will be able to help you!!
    Much love and healing prayers!!

    • 49erBry April 3, 2013 at 11:45 pm #

      Thank you Lynnelle and prayers and healing hugs back to you. Sorry about the depression I hope you can find some happiness soon.

      • james cotharn jr April 13, 2013 at 11:49 am #

        im in the late stages of lyme, i try to find something every day to be thankful about….

      • 49erBry April 14, 2013 at 12:22 am #

        That’s great. Even if it is the littlest thing it can have such an impact. Hope you are progressing with your treatment.

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