Lyme And Love

15 Jun


Update – Still Single


Last year I did a story on finding a relationship with Lyme disease or disabilities. I spoke about different web sites for single people to find love. At this time last year I was on a few dating sites and having no success. Well I am here to report I have had no luck since then and have not had one date or potential date. Yay for me!

There were two web sites specifically for Lyme disease singles which had only a few members and most of them never replied to messages. I joined a dating with disabilities web site and even had no luck on that one but I did get a ton of spam from that site.

I am on eHarmony, Match, Plenty of Fish, Lyme dating sites…etc. Maybe once a month I will get a message from a girl who seems interested. They send me some small talk and then I never hear from them again. Almost like they are just bored and wanted to chat that night and then they are done.

I have had many girls questions my retired/disabled status on my profile. I have tried changing my profile around to make me sound healthy but that still does not help. I will change my profiles around experimenting with what might work. I will mention my Lyme disease, not mention any disability, mention I am ill, that I am self employed but nothing works.

What really hurts is when I will get a girl who is my type and we have so much in common and we get to the point where the next step is to meet…..then the girl will ask “what is Lyme disease”. I will explain to her what it is and then they delete me or never write back.

They don’t even bother to ask more or say they are sorry. Not that I want sympathy but it just seems rude to disappear when they seemed so interested. I feel like a leper at times. I have been rejected for saying I am disabled, have Lyme, don’t work and I am not sure what to say anymore.

I feel being honest is always the best way to do things. I don’t want to get a girl really interested and go out on dates and then she starts to notice my twitches, the way I walk, sweating, puking….and she wonders what is going on. Then I might have feelings for her by that time and then she dumps me.

I have no idea if it is my Lyme, my looks or my age anymore. I have been single going on 6 years! I hate being single and I always dreamed of being married by my 20’s with kids. I am a little late to that party I guess. I am losing hope and I know I need to be patient but that usually means a year or two but not 6 years.

I miss the feeling of being in love, flirting and chatting on the phone until late night. The feeling of butterflies in your stomach or some kind of excitement knowing she might be the one. Now the only person I talk to late at night is my cat, how pathetic is that.

What sucks is being in my house everyday for the past few years and no human interaction. I know if I was healthy and single I could go out and find somebody but being sick and unable to go out is killing me. I don’t even think I would know how to kiss a girl or do anything else anymore.

If anyone I talk to seems to know a single person they will say “oh but she probably wouldn’t want to date a guy who can’t work and is sick”. I completely understand but there has to be someone out there willing to give me a chance. I do have a type though so I am not just going to settle for the first person I meet just because I am disabled.

My only ray of hope is I do have a crush on a friend of my best friend who is a Lymie. The only problem is she lives in another state. I have been trying to talk to her for a while and I hear she is interested and talk about me but she is very busy and lost. I hardly hear from her, maybe one sentence every few months.

This girl had a shock last year when she found out her husband was gay so she’s kind of been trying to find herself. So I don’t want to be too pushy and when she feels ready to talk I will be here for her. She is very pretty and we have a lot in common so I hope she will give me a chance.

Until then I will just sit here in my chair and keep being optimistic. I have seen many Lymies find love so I know my day will come. By this time next year I hope to report I am getting married. Keeping my fingers crossed.







5 Responses to “Lyme And Love”

  1. SHERRY SMITH June 15, 2012 at 7:09 pm #


    • 49erBry June 15, 2012 at 9:11 pm #

      Sorry to hear that. It seems like every girl with Lyme I know of has no trouble finding a date. It is different for me I guess. I hope you find somebody. There are guys willing to commit out there. Hope he finds you soon. I can give you info on some Lyme sites, not sure your age but there may be someone for you.

  2. Jennie December 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm #

    Merry Christmas! 🙂

    • 49erBry December 25, 2012 at 12:51 am #

      Merry Christmas to you and yours! 🙂

  3. Lady Selene August 20, 2013 at 4:26 pm #

    Because I have reoccurring Bells Palsy I don’t leave my house. I haven’t dated in years, and it looks like I’ll be alone the rest of my life. I have pretty much gotten used to the idea of being alone, have been just about all my life, even when i was married, it’s nothing new for me.

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