From Managing a Store to Managing my Medication

5 Apr








Change of Lifestyle

My last job was just last year as a Store Manager for a major retail chain. I supervised 15-20 employees and ran all operations of the store. I was an excellent multitasker and very good at solving complex issues. The jobs was very physical, mentally draining and stressful. I was a great worker and worked my way up the ranks. I could work circles around my younger co-workers and I met deadlines with ease. Who would have thought that today I can not even drive to get to work!

After graduating from the University of Phoenix in Information Technology in 2009, I thought my life was coming together. I started applying for technology jobs and bought at least 20 computer language and coding books. I started a technology blog that started to become popular and had thousands of viewers. I have always loved learning new things, reading and learning a new trade. I had a great job and I was ready to buy a house and hope to find a girlfriend, marry and start a family one day. None of that ever happened.

One day 2 years ago I noticed I was struggling to get my work done and didn’t think I would meet my deadline. For once I had to ask for assistance from an employee. The employee said to me “what’s the matter are you getting old”. I laughed but it also made me think that maybe I was getting old. Little did I know at that time that this was just the beginning. Fibromyalgia and Lyme were going to make my life a living hell.

Each week in 2009, I worked 50 hours and would find myself very exhausted at the end of the day. I would cancel my plans to hang out with friends and found myself saying “no thanks i’m busy” a lot when I was just really too tired. Just a year before in 2008, I was one who would sleep 4 hours, work 10 hours and go out after work to dance and hang out with friends. On my days off I would help my dad with construction projects or go hunting and fishing. I had a lot of energy and strength.

One day in summer of 2009, I went to my car to eat lunch and on my break and I found myself slumped over in my seat too exhausted to lift my hamburger and eat. I sat there until my lunch was over and the food was cold. I felt my spine, back and shoulder blades hurting and felt as if I had a fever. I thought for sure I was going to have the flu the next day so I told employees “I may not be in tomorrow”. The next day I woke up feeling fine and went to work.

Each week I felt the same sick  feeling and always thought I was getting the flu. Then one day I had a migraine that was so bad I sat in my office with the lights off. Light, sound and even feeling out reports and paperwork made my head hurt worse. The next day I had another migraine at work and for the first time in 5 years I took a sick day. I was one who was dedicated to work and I would show up sick or not so this was unlike me. I drove home and barley managed to keep my eyes open as I swerved on the freeway. I walked in the door, hit the bed and was fast asleep. I slept 18 hours and woke up just in time to eat, take a shower and be back at work ( I worked unusual shifts).

I had been visiting doctors for years and years and I was used to being sick and having mystery illnesses so I was not alarmed by any of this. I already had been suffering from chronic knee pain and IBS at this point since 2000. I have a low immune system also so being sick was not new to me. I made an appointment with the doctor thinking maybe stress was getting to me or that I was just physically exhausted from working so much and never taking vacations (my last vacation was in 1996). I saw my family doctor and he couldn’t find anything wrong but he was concerned. He sent me to a specialist and that specialist sent me to another specialist and so on.

I had seen 6 doctors within a month and I started to get concerned when I would hear a specialist say “hmmm something strange is going on here”. I was thought to have a brain tumor or MS, both of which were ruled out after an MRI. Each specialist requested different tests, x-rays and MRI’s. That is when I found out I had spinal stenosis in my t-5 and t-6 of my neck. Then I was told I have Fibromyalgia by my rheumatologist, neurologist and family doctor.

I was still having some symptoms that didn’t quite fit with my other medical issues. I was recommended to see Dr. Harris in Redwood City by my aunt who also has been living with Lyme disease for 20 years. My aunt said she was 100% sure I had Lyme. So after driving 2 hours to Redwood City and a 2 hour consultation, I was diagnosed as having Borreli (Lyme Disease) and two coinfections called Babesiosi and Bartonella. So far I am still challenging and taking blood test but my tests. So far Babesia is showing up positive and I may have some other form of parasite in me.

So after all of those years of hard work here I sit with many medical issues, medical bills and my life had changed drastically. I have lost friends due to my illnesses and gained new ones. My days are spent in my bed or in a chair. The only thing I can manage myself now is when to take my medications and supplements. I no longer feel I have a purpose and I miss managing and supervising employees feeling like I was important. Although many do not understand (including social security disability) I cannot work. I had to stop driving after one day I nearly crashed from having tunnel vision and being in a trance while driving down the street.

I am still optimistic and try to stay happy. I am still sarcastic and tell jokes. It is a new lifestyle but I and I am still getting used to it. I still feel alone with having Lyme disease even though I have family support and friends. I wish I never would have taken feeling “normal” for granted and maybe took a few more vacations and enjoyed life a little more. It is overwhelming at times but I know I will be better one day and Lyme will not beat me.


One Response to “From Managing a Store to Managing my Medication”

  1. Gala May 19, 2012 at 10:11 pm #

    Hello sweet one, your story is very familiar, I have lived it and now I am walking in the Lyme mystery with my daughter and sister. I scanned your blog and I must tell you that first I had faith that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit wanted me and all those suffering to be healed. I also found through answered prayer that addroll helps with the secondary symptoms caused by the spirochetes damage. I will pray for you. I hope you can seek the Lord and know you can to be healed. Love a stage 4 Lymes recover.

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